5 Steps to Improving Your Life in 2017

A version of this article was first published on Troy Media at www.troymedia.com/2016/12/30/improve-life-2017/

I am one of those people who relish the opportunity to reflect on the year and give thought to what I want to be different going forward.  I gave up making actual resolutions years ago; like everyone else, my follow through was short-lived and ended in disappointment.  But I do like to experiment with new habits and practices that might improve my life.  When I find things that work for me, it is amazing how many of them actually stick over time.  My ideas for how to improve my life don’t spontaneously pop into my brain.  Rather, they trickle in through things I read, conversations I have, podcasts I listen to.  In reviewing my 2016 journal and the experiments I’ve tried, below are my top 5 suggestions for how you might improve your life, too.

1. Breathe.  Western culture is obsessed with the act of thinking.  We are a disembodied culture, one that has lost its connection with the miracle that is our physical being.  Our bodies are machines and our goal is to drive that machine as hard as we can. I believe the reason interest in things like meditation and yoga have surged is because those practices help us turn our attention away from the mind and toward our bodies, and our breath, in a caring and compassionate way.  It is beginning to dawn on us that to really experience the fulness of life, we need to have a healthy connection to our body.  If you want to do one thing to improve your life this year, I would encourage you to focus on your breath.  Maybe this means joining a yoga class.  Maybe it just means pausing a couple of times a day to close your eyes and notice your breathing.  Two meditation resources I would recommend include the App 'HeadSpace' www.headspace.com and the guided meditations of Tara Brach www.tarabrach.com
2. Experience wonder.  We spend a lot of time and energy looking for inspiration, for something that will fire up our motivation.  I don’t think we spend enough time allowing ourselves to experience the world through our hearts.  Advertisers know the power of wonder.  They know we are a little bit more open and vulnerable at this time of year, so they spoon-feed us heart-wrenching commercials in a bid to earn our trust.  The world will spontaneously combust into wonder if you let it.  It can happen walking in the forest, watching children play, reading poetry.  All it requires is that you be fully engaged and ‘present’.  Experiencing a daily dose of wonder will change your life.  My favorite podcast for finding inspiration is On Being www.onbeing.org.
3. Be vulnerable.  Speaking of vulnerability, we all need to show more of this.  We live in a culture that worships strength and punishes weakness.  The trouble is, we are only human.   By turning our eyes away from our frailties and failings we cut ourselves off from the fullness of life, from experiencing what it means to be human.  It causes us to be fearful and ashamed of being ourselves.  The most powerful thing you can do as a leader, a parent, a friend is allow others to see your weakness.  For a primer on vulnerability, I recommend the infamous Brene Brown TedTalk www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_on_vulnerability
4. Sit with discomfort.  We hate discomfort.  Our immediate instinct is to run away - physically,  mentally, emotionally.  One of the most powerful insights I have absorbed through my experimentation with stoic and eastern philosophy is how powerful it is to sit patiently through discomfort.  When you allow yourself to feel the full experience of failure or embarrassment or sadness without turning away, you discover you are strong enough to survive.  When you allow yourself to pass through the emotional arc these situations incite, you are better able to extract their lessons.  I’ve also found it reduces the likelihood these experiences will continue to revisit you at 3 o’clock in the morning, 3 years later.  You can read more about this in Seneca's Letters From A Stoic, Meditations by Marcus Aurelius and Eckhart Tolle's The Power of Now.
5. Help others.  Checking your text messages isn’t the only way to give your brain a shot of dopamine.  Try engaging in charity - doing something for someone else when there is no possible opportunity for you to get anything in return.  This can be as simple as giving a stranger a heartfelt compliment or as complicated as seeking out that ‘odd ball’ at the office and inviting them to be part of something.  Helping others is one of the best ways to feel good about yourself and better about your life.  And it is the one sure way we each have to make this world a better place, for all of us.  For more on this, see Adam Grant's Give and Take www.adamgrant.net