This article is adapted from my HR column on Troy Media at http://troymedia.com/2019/01/14/radical-strategies-work-collaboration/

The ability to collaborate with others is a ‘must have’ skill to be successful in work.  It doesn’t matter if you are a project manager, a self-employed editor or the Chief Financial Officer, part of your success is probably going to hinge on how well you can work with colleagues.  Our work world is a complex system with lots of inter-related people and parts that need to work together if we are to get things done and deliver on our goals.  Working easily and fluidly with others is simply how things get done in the 21st century.  

​What is collaboration?  Collaboration has become a catch-all phrase to encompass a whole range of activities and behaviours that relate to our ability to interact and work with other people.  Fundamental to collaboration is the ability to establish and maintain constructive, genuine, healthy relationships.  Some questions you might ask yourself to test your collaboration skills include:

• Do I talk to colleagues on a regular basis, not just when I need something?
• Do I know who my key stakeholders are for each of my major projects or initiatives?
• Do I genuinely seek out the input and perspective of knowledgeable people when making plans?
• Do I think about who will be affected by my actions and decisions, and do I communicate with them in advance?  
• Do I proactively offer up information or insight that can help other people be successful? 

Why is collaboration so hard?  The reason I know collaboration is hard is because it is on the development plans of many of my clients.  At work, we typically get rewarded for getting things done.  Collaboration can slow this down - getting others’ input, incorporating others’ ideas, communicating regularly all take time.  And then there is our natural egocentric nature, the belief we know best and have the right answers.  Since we already know what to do, why bother asking for advice?  Effective collaboration also means we have to trust other people.  We have to trust they will be honest with us, that they will use our input with integrity, that they won’t take credit for our ideas.  The work environment is competitive by nature - not everyone will get promoted or rewarded.  At times, collaboration seems an awful lot like putting ourselves out there to help other people be successful when what we really want is to ensure we are successful.

Radical ideas for better collaboration.  I recently read the book Real Love, Sharon Salzberg’s guide to applying Buddhist philosophy in order to experience greater love and acceptance of oneself, and others.  It struck me how applicable many of the key principles are to collaboration in the workplace.  To be truly successful at collaborating with others requires more than just switching up a few habits.  I believe it requires a different - radically different - mindset.

1. Pursue excellence, not perfection.  Striving for perfection ties us up in knots.  It escalates our need for control, which causes us to become ego-centric and insular.  That is bad for collaboration.  Pursuing excellence opens us up to the possibility that someone other than ourselves may have something to contribute, may be better at something than we are, may know more than we do.  To truly achieve excellence requires us to look beyond ourselves and out into our communities.   
2. Resist judging others.  Our human brains are wired for analysis and judgment.  We make up stories about other people to explain who they are and what we can expect from them.  Sometimes we make judgments about who is worth talking to, who is worth listening to.  The truth is, we never really know where the next good idea will come from, what conversation will spark an idea, who will offer up a critical piece of information.  When we suppress our judgment of others, we can be more open, more curious and more receptive to what others have to offer.   
3. Be curious.  When you consult with your partners at work, are you really interested in what they have to say?  Do you really understand where they are coming from - their concerns and challenges?  Are you checking your email while they are talking to you on the phone?  Superficial interest doesn’t lead to the insights that can help you do your job better.  Effective collaboration requires relationships, and those take real sympathy and compassion to build.    Curiosity is an important pathway that leads to understanding.
4. Practice kindness.  Kindness.  Now there’s a word that is rarely used when we talk about work.  Pause and reflect on a time when someone was particularly kind to you.  How did you feel?  How did it make you feel about that person?  Kindness is an act performed without the expectation of reciprocity.  But isn’t collaboration about relationship reciprocity, you ask?  Yes.  And there is a very good chance that kindness begets kindness, creating a virtuous cycle that leads to deeper and more meaningful relationships.  The kind of relationships we envy when we see them.  And, frankly, we could use a lot more kindness in the world, including at work.   
5. Accept help.  While we are often happy, even eager, to lend a hand when asked, too often we think of asking for help as a sign of our own weakness.  We are afraid it will signal a lack of competence or confidence.  Give and take is an important part of creating the equilibrium required for constructive collaboration.  In the same way we hope our partners will reach out and ask for our advice, opinion and support, we need to do likewise.  Relationships are enhanced when we are able to ask for and accept help.  Collaboration is, after all, a team sport - everyone needs to participate. 

Minerva just released their second annual diversity scorecard for BC companies  and the findings are nothing short of disappointing.  We have had a civil public conversation about diversity and inclusion thus far.  We’ve sympathized, empathized and agreed change takes time.  White men need the opportunity to adjust to sharing power; the rest of us need time to develop the competence to exert power.  Being nice about this has gotten us, well, not very far.  Is it time to call a spade a spade?  Is it time we confronted the hard truth that many of those in power don’t want to share and will put up any and every barrier to stop the rest of us from joining their exclusive club, for as long as they can?  The evidence suggests that, if inclined, organizations can fast-track inclusion efforts.  An example is Ritchie Bros. Auctioneers who, in the last 12 months, have added 3 women to its executive team and just appointed a second woman to their board, which is chaired by a woman.

While it is easy to become despondent, we need to reflect on and remember just how much progress we have made as a society in providing each of us with the opportunity and support to step forward and contribute equally.   But we still have some barriers to break down, and we need to get moving.  This is what I believe will help us make real progress in advancing diversity.

1. Men in power need a lot more humility.  White men are not special.  They are not inherently better, smarter, more talented or more deserving.  They do get a lot more opportunities because our collective unconscious biases operate in their favour (to get depressed about your own implicit biases, go to Project Implicit at https://implicit.harvard.edu/implicit/index.jsp).  It is time for men to face up to the fact that, as a group, they have benefited significantly from favouritism and it accounts for much of their differential success.  Any white male who believes he does not have special advantage because of his status needs a serious reality check.  
2. Women need to stop meeting in secret to discuss amongst themselves how to advance diversity.  When I was asked to participate in the Minerva diversity conference, my first question is ‘are there going to be men there?’  While I respect the desire on the part of women to form groups of like-minded others to provide collegial support, it is time for women to stop thinking these efforts are going to advance their cause.  The more time women spend with other women in exclusive communities, the less time they are spending being inclusive and exerting themselves where real decisions around power are made.
   
3. Men in power who are fair-minded need to seriously step up and be sponsors of inclusion and sponsors of actual people.  I cannot express my regard and appreciation enough for those men who ‘get it’ and want to play a role in advancing the cause of women and other minorities.  But while there are powerful men who are stepping forward to say ‘this isn’t fair”, there are not enough of them.   A lot of men applauded Justin Trudeau for putting (so many!) women on his leadership team but so few have been inspired to follow his example.  It is one thing to say you are in support of diversity.  It is another thing to engage in the hard work of identifying and advancing real people.
   
4. The rest of us have power and we need to exert it with the decisions we make, including with our pocketbooks.  If you are irritated by the under-representation of women and other minorities in leadership roles and on corporate boards, the best way to influence this is by choosing to not support these organizations.  Unhappy that Tim Horton’s parent company is unapologetic about having an all-male board and rejecting requests to implement a diversity policy?  Well, stop buying your Timmies.  If every person who cared about diversity stopped spending money with companies who don’t, I guarantee they will find their own fast track to inclusion.   

We have been very, very polite in the conversation we have had about diversity and inclusion so far.  While we are seeing progress, we all know that we can get there so much faster.  And it’s time to get real about that.

A version of this article was first published on Troy Media.

Cindy, a consistently high performer, has been with her firm for 10 years.  She really likes the company, her job and the people she works with.  About 6 months ago she found herself with a new boss.  He’s an up-and-comer; young, ambitious but lacking in leadership savvy.  Determined to prove himself, he pushes people hard without providing the support or structure they need.  Cindy was patient, assuming he would settle into the role.  But he hasn’t.  She is angry, frustrated, and thinking about leaving the company.  Studies consistently show one of the top reasons people quit a job is to escape a bad boss.   At some point in your career you will probably find yourself in this situation.  Is it always worth throwing in the towel and finding something else to do?  Not always.  If you don’t want to, or can’t, leave your job what can you do?
Is it me or is it you?  
The first step is to determine if the problem is your boss.  Do others feel the same way?  If you are surrounded by a crowd, you can safely assume your boss is the problem.  If, on the other hand, everyone else seems to be getting along, it is probably an issue of fit between the two of you.  And if this is a problem you encounter time and time again, it is probably about you.  
Start with empathy
Let’s assume your boss is the problem.  As difficult as it might be, try to look past your frustration and seek to understand why they are such a challenge.  Very few people try to be terrible on purpose.  So what’s going on?  If your boss is approachable, a conversation may be appropriate.  Perhaps something like, “I can see you struggling in this role, and it is making things difficult for me too.  What can I do to help you so we are both successful?”
Speak up
Take advantage of safe ways to provide feedback to the company about the situation.  If you have a human resources person you trust, share your feedback and ask for advice.  If someone from senior management asks how things are going, be diplomatic but candid.  Again, a good strategy is to ask for advice about how to work with your boss more effectively.  It sends the message there is a problem, but you are looking for solutions. 
Play the waiting game  
When my friend Jack was dealing with a bad boss I suggested the company would probably figure out they had a problem.  I advised him to be patient and wait it out.  It took almost a year, but a 360-degree review was promptly followed by his boss being reassigned.  If you think your company knows they have a problem, it is probably worth hanging on until they make a change.  
Disengage emotionally from the relationship  
While you are waiting for the situation to resolve itself, don’t let your boss’ bad behaviour get the better of you.  If you know you won’t get what you need, do yourself a favour and don’t cling to unrealistic expectations; the only person who will be disappointed is you.  Manage your expectations and limit your interactions.  Get good at finding alternate paths to getting what you need, whether it is support, resources or a sounding board.  Rely on your boss as a last resort.  Be respectful and responsive to requests for meetings or information, but don’t initiate them more than is required.  
Seek support
Limit the time you spend venting with colleagues.  Negative energy produces more negative energy.  Instead, look for support outside of work.  If you have an Employee Assistance Program (EAP), you can often use this to speak to a counsellor who will provide coping strategies.
Stay alert
If you have a boss who is struggling, there is a chance he or she will look for people to blame or ways to change the situation.  This is why it is important you handle yourself well.  If you want to stay in your job, the last thing you want to do is give someone a reason to end your employment.  This is also a good time to dust off your resume, update your LinkedIn profile, and keep an eye on the job market. 
Learn from it
Finally, take advantage of this as a learning opportunity.  Most managers say their best leadership lessons came from working for a bad boss.

Sources
This article was inspired during a walk on the forest with a friend who was recollecting the last 10 years of his career and a run of bad bosses he had survived several years earlier.  It made me especially appreciative of the (mostly) pretty good bosses I have had over the years, and also reminded me of the very best thing about working for yourself - no boss.  

A version of this article was first published in my HR column on Troy Media.

A few weeks ago I sat with a small group of business owners who wanted to talk about culture.  For each of them, culture ranks as one of their key human resource worries - how to shift their culture in a meaningful way, or maintain a culture they see as critical to success.  One of the advantages - and responsibilities - of being a business owner is that you have the final say on the culture in your organization.  

What is culture?
Too often we talk about building culture as though it were a knob you turn.  In fact, culture is an output - the observable manifestation of a myriad of factors that interact and coalesce to create a unique imprint.  Inputs that shape culture include strategy, structure, decision-making rules, rewards, customers, values, who you hire, policies, mission, and so on.  You can see culture in how your lobby is decorated, and you can feel it in how employees treat each other.  It usually takes outsiders only a few words to describe the essence of your culture.   

How do you influence culture?
I do not understand the mystique that surrounds culture change.  To me, tackling culture requires the same approach you apply to any other business problem:  What is your goal?  Where are you now?  What is your plan to close the gap?  You begin with a vision for your culture.  Then you take a hard look at what your culture is today.  If there is a gap, you systematically look at the key inputs that shape and influence culture and assess which of these you need to address to get a different output.  For example, if you envision an egalitarian culture where everyone has a voice, decision-making processes that include some and exclude others will not support your cultural vision.  If you aspire to a culture of innovation, a reward system that punishes failure will quash that dream.  The important thing is to look at all of the inputs that can shape culture and determine which are most critical to shaping the culture you want to build.  Those are the ones you will want to target to align with your cultural vision.  You also want to ensure your inputs are not in direct conflict and sending mixed messages.  That only gets you the reputation of saying one thing and doing another.

Culture-building strategies that can save you time and money
There are six things you can do to fast-track your culture building efforts:

1. Don’t try to build a culture that doesn’t reflect who you are.  As the owner and key stakeholder in the business, the culture will always reflect your values, personality and style. 
2. Do a reality check.  It can be hard to get an objective, accurate read on your culture when you’ve been in it for so long.  One quick and easy strategy to help you gain perspective is to talk to new employees - what is their take on what your organization is all about?
3. Establish your 3 key values and promote them.  Your values should get to the essence of what is important and be so obvious no one needs to memorize them.  I once worked for an organization that had 6 values.  I could only ever remember 5 on any given day.  The human brain loves ‘3’s. 
4. Make every hire count.  Nothing screams more loudly what is most important to you than the decision around who you hire.  
5. Drive from mission and explain, explain, explain ‘why’.  Answering the question ‘why’ is the most powerful way to communicate culture.  People want to live up to expectations.  If you invest time in helping employees understand why processes exist or decisions are made, you will help them act in ways congruent with the culture you expect.
6. Embrace the power of storytelling.  We learn best through stories.  If you are Zappos or the Four Seasons, you want to circulate examples of heroic customer service.  Find and repeat stories that highlight key aspects of the culture you are trying to promote.  

If you really want to drive change, don’t carry a megaphone
Stealth is vastly under-rated as a change management strategy.  Contrary to popular belief, you don’t need to start with a mesmerizing communication program that tells employees what is wrong with them and how they must change.  You need to start by doing things differently.  Quietly, consistently, differently.  Trust me, people will catch on.

A version of this article was first published in my monthly column on Troy Media.

I have a routine I try to follow each morning.  I take a shower, do 20 minutes of yoga stretching, pour myself a cup of coffee and sit down to read something that centres and inspires me.  A little Seneca, thoughts from a Buddhist teacher, a chapter of Eckert Tolle.  This morning I opened Oriah’s meditation guide to her famous poem ‘The Invitation’.   In her introduction she sets out what the reader can expect from her as a spiritual guide.  Her commitments stopped me in my tracks.  They are, quite simply, some of the best principles I have come across for anyone who, like me, puts themselves in a position to be a guide to others.  As business consultants, people hire us to help guide them to new knowledge, insight, behaviour, processes, strategies.  Oriah’s principles apply equally well to us.

1. Don’t pretend to know something you have not experienced.  Many of us have not lived the life or done the work of those we advise.  Many leadership consultants have never led.  Many executive coaches have never been executives.  Many strategy consultants have never transformed an organization.   What we know is based on theory, training, research, innate and unique knowledge, and the rigorous observation of people, behaviour, strategies and outcomes across time and over multiple contexts.  From that we extrapolate key lessons to help people map out a more direct route to success.  When I first became a consultant, I was smart and well-meaning but probably marginally competent as a guide.  Through experience I became much better.  Now, having returned to consulting with the experience of walking in the shoes of my clients, I have a different, more well-rounded perspective.  What I have learned is that we don’t need to have the same experiences as our clients to be good and capable guides.  But when we have not experienced something, it is especially important to remain circumspect and humble in our advice.
2. Don’t pretend to know something you have not experienced.  No, I haven't made a mistake by citing this principle twice; it has a second interpretation.  It is important as a consultant to be honest about our experience and capability - to ourselves and to others.  Earlier in my career I sometimes felt I was ‘faking it’.  Some of that was confidence, but some of it was the absence of relevant experience from which to draw.  Experience is frequently a key criteria for winning work and there can be pressure to build ourselves up.  ‘I haven’t done that before’ is often followed by ‘but I’m sure I can figure it out.’  That may turn out to be true.  But it isn’t being honest with a client.   As I have gained age and wisdom, I don’t feel the need to pretend so much.  People still ask if I can help them with things I haven’t done before.  Now, I don’t hesitate to tell them the limits of my interest or expertise.  And I am quick to refer them to a colleague who has more relevant experience than I do.  What I have discovered is that being fully transparent only has positive consequences.  Many times a client still engages me; maybe because they believe I can figure it out.  Maybe because they appreciate my candour.  The worst that has happened?  They thank me for connecting them to someone great who has the right experience. 
3. Don’t build rapport by feigning confusion where you have knowledge.  I am paraphrasing Oriah, but what I take from this is: don’t let the fear of damaging a relationship stop you from speaking truth.  Building and maintaining relationships is critical to being an effective consultant.  Sometimes, in an effort to manage a relationship, we may not be as candid as we need to be.  We may fear how a client will react if we are too bold in sharing our insight.  Or, we may see an opportunity to extend the relationship by holding back some of our knowledge to share at a later date.  If we desire, first and foremost, to be that valued and trusted guide, we need to let fear and opportunism fall away and share our knowledge and wisdom whole-heartedly.

References
The Invitation by Oriah Mountain Dreamer, published in 1995, was my inspiration for this article.  She lays out what the reader can expect from her in the first chapter 'Accepting the Invitation'.  It is a beautiful book.

For her entire career, Phoebe has really struggled with how to manage her time.  She has a great attitude and the quality of her work is first-rate, but it seems to take her twice as long as anyone else to bring a project to completion.  Recently she moved into a new role, replacing someone who had half the experience and skills she has.  And, yet, she finds herself toiling away at her computer well into the evening and still struggling to keep up with the workload.  This is not a new problem for Phoebe.  Up until now, she has convinced everyone, including herself, that conscientiousness is a virtue and quality work takes time.  Her current manager, however, isn’t buying it.  The reason she was hired was because he believed she could manage many more clients than her predecessor.  Instead, she is managing less.  Phoebe’s manager spotted the problem quickly.  She is a perfectionist.  

I’ve worked with a lot of perfectionists over the years and tried help them overcome this tendency, approaching it from a lot of different angles.  Most of them have been unsuccessful.  It is extremely difficult to convince a perfectionist they need to relax their standards, go with the flow, manage their time more efficiently, or live by the 80/20 rule.  Now there is only one conversation I have with perfectionists: what you are doing is stealing.  

Perfectionism is stealing from customers
Phoebe works for a social services agency and cares deeply about the clients she serves.  When she spends 4 hours writing a letter on their behalf instead of the 2 that have been allocated, that is 2 hours she could be spending helping someone else.  For Phoebe to shift away from her perfectionism requires her to care more about helping more people than in nailing the quality of any single task.     

Perfectionism is stealing from the company
Phoebe is paid to manage a portfolio of clients, each of whom is a source of revenue for the organization.  Her client load is 75% of what it should be.  As a result, the company is not collecting as much revenue as it needs to sustain the business.  While she gets paid her salary regardless, her perfectionism is putting the future of the organization - and her own job - at risk.  She needs to come to terms with the fact that time is - quite literally - money.  Until being a good steward of resources is more important to her than delivering a perfect product every single time, Phoebe will forever struggle with her perfectionism.

Perfectionism is stealing from family and friends
Phoebe is an ongoing source of frustration for her family and friends.  She makes commitments and then often arrives late or cancels at the last minute because she is “stuck at work”.  She wears her dedication to her job like a badge of honour, frequently drawing attention to the fact she works longer hours than anyone else.  What she doesn’t realize is that people think twice about inviting her to something because they know they are less important to her than her work.  Until Phoebe cares more about keeping commitments to other people than she does about the occasional spelling mistake, she will be trapped in her perfectionism.

Perfectionism is stealing from yourself
Phoebe is a talented artist, was a competitive swimmer in high school, and still holds the record for the most funds raised for a local charity.  She keeps talking about how much she needs to get back into the gym, how great it would be to paint again, how she misses her volunteer work.  But she doesn’t have time.  For Phoebe to overcome her perfectionism, she needs to put more value on her own time than she does on being able to get every answer right.   

Perfectionism is a form of theft.  Obsessing over the right word, the right image, re-reading for spelling mistakes for the fifth time, triple-checking the math, hunting down that interesting but obscure reference, re-writing an article seven times, hitting every card shop in the city for just the right sentiment.  All of these things are stealing time.  Time from other tasks, other people, your employer.  And, most important of all, yourself.